Okay so I need to tell this story because if I don’t write it down I’m going to explode. Or maybe implode? Whatever that thing is where you just internally combust from corporate bullshit.

Two months ago I started a new job. Actually wait, let me back up because the backstory is important and I’m still processing this whole thing.

During my interview (which went great, by the way, or so I thought since the email literally said “The team was pleased with your interview performance”), I did something radical. I asked a question. Specifically: “Hey, will there be any L3 positions opening up anytime soon?” Because, you know, I like to plan my career and stuff. Crazy, right?

“No, not anytime soon. Career progression here is different.”

Different. Okay. Sure. I took the job anyway because healthcare tech, good mission, and they offered me the literal maximum of the salary band which seemed like a good sign but honestly should have been my first red flag because where do you go from the ceiling? You don’t. You just bang your head against it apparently.

Eight Weeks Later: A Comedy in Three Acts

EIGHT WEEKS. Not eight months. WEEKS.

I’m scrolling through Slack (pretending to read motivational posts about assuming good intent, we all do it), and there it is. An L3 position. The exact one I asked about. The one that wasn’t happening “anytime soon.”

I actually laughed. Like, out loud. My wife asked what was funny and I couldn’t even explain because how do you explain that you’ve become workplace furniture? That you’re apparently invisible unless you’re submitting timesheets?

Here’s the thing. I have EVERYTHING they’re asking for in this posting:

• 5+ years experience? Yep
• Required certification? Got it two years ago
• Team mentorship experience? Trained four people at my last job
• Previous L2 experience? I WAS LITERALLY AN L2 AT MY PREVIOUS COMPANY

But no, let’s look externally. Let’s pay someone 25-30% more to come in and take three months to figure out where the bathroom is.

The Week of Mental Gymnastics

So I did what any rational invisible person would do. I sat on this for a week. A full week of staring at that L3 posting, doing the math, comparing requirements, making pro/con lists like I’m in a rom-com deciding between two love interests except both options were “get screwed” and “get screwed differently.”

After a week of this mental circus, I finally went to my team lead. Not with some dramatic resignation letter. Not with an ultimatum. Just… facts.

“Look,” I said, “this is binary. True or false. Either I qualified for L3 from the beginning, in which case this should be rectified, or I don’t qualify, in which case I should go find somewhere that values what I bring.”

There’s no middle ground here. I’m not asking for a favor. I’m asking for basic math. Do I meet the requirements? Yes or no? If yes, correct the level. If not, tell me what I’m missing. But this weird limbo where I apparently qualify enough to max out L2 but not enough to be considered for L3? That’s not sustainable.

And let’s be clear, this isn’t a promotion. It’s a correction. You don’t promote someone to the level they should have been at from day one. You fix the mistake. It’s like being charged the wrong price at a store and asking for the correct change. That’s not a discount, it’s math.

My team lead looked like I just asked them to solve world hunger. The conversation got escalated so fast I think it broke the sound barrier.

Suddenly I Exist!

This got attention. Suddenly I’m visible! Miracle!

I get called into a meeting with an executive (who definitely has opinions about everything). And this person, I swear I cannot make this up, tells me I should have “approached this differently.”

“Instead of threatening to resign, you should have just asked why you weren’t considered for L3.”

I’m sorry… what? WHAT?

I literally. Asked. During. The. Interview.

But here’s where it gets AMAZING. They tell me, with a straight face, that the L3 position “wasn’t planned until last month.”

Last month.

So you’re telling me that your company planning is so bad that you can’t see ONE MONTH ahead? Like what happens, someone wakes up and goes “You know what we need? An L3!” and everyone just nods and posts it? Is this how businesses run? Because if so, I have questions. So many questions.

“Other Employees” AKA The Invisible Shield

When I pointed out that I should be considered for this magical L3 position that materialized from the planning void, suddenly the conversation shifted to “Well, we have to think about other employees.”

Other employees? WHO? Name them. Point to them. Are they in the room with us right now?

So I said (foolishly, apparently): “If other employees think they’re qualified, they should advocate for themselves too.”

IMMEDIATELY shut down. “Other employees are not your concern.”

Hold up. HOLD. UP.

So other employees ARE your concern when it comes to why I can’t be promoted, but they’re NOT my concern when I say they should also speak up?

This is like saying “We can’t give you a cookie because other kids might want cookies” and when you say “okay let them ask for cookies too” they respond “THE OTHER KIDS ARE NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.”

Pick a lane. Either other employees matter to this conversation or they don’t. You can’t use them as a shield and then tell me they’re off limits for discussion.

The Philosophy That Only Goes One Way

Oh and this same executive? Has been posting these long Slack messages about “assuming good intent.” Like paragraphs and paragraphs about how we should always assume our colleagues mean well, don’t take things personally, focus on understanding rather than reacting.

Cool philosophy. So let me make sure I understand:

• I should assume good intent when told “not anytime soon” means “next month”
• I should assume good intent when I’m forgotten for positions I qualify for
• I should assume good intent when they’re willing to pay external hires significantly more
• I should assume good intent when I’m at the salary ceiling with nowhere to go

But when I raise these issues? Oh no, that’s aggressive. That’s not assuming THEIR good intent. That’s approaching it wrong.

Funny how “assume good intent” only flows in one direction. Like a broken escalator that only goes down.

The Numbers Game (Vaguely, Because Math Hurts)

Without getting specific, the difference between what I make and what they’re offering external candidates is… let’s just say it’s enough for a nice vacation. Every month. Forever.

They’re literally willing to pay more money to someone they don’t know, who needs training, who might not even work out, rather than correct the mistake for someone who’s already here and proven.

That’s not even bad business. That’s like seeing a $20 bill on the ground and instead of picking it up, you call someone to fly in from another city to pick it up for you and you pay them $30 for the trouble.

“Didn’t Think of You” – A Masterclass in Invisibility

The best part? They “didn’t think of me.”

I’m. Right. There.

I’m literally at my desk every day. Keeping my Slack status green. Maxed out salary band. Doing the work. But when an L3 position magically appears from the one-month planning horizon, I’m invisible.

How does someone become so invisible while being simultaneously visible enough to max out their pay band? It’s like being Schrödinger’s employee. I both exist and don’t exist depending on what’s convenient.

The Verdict: “Too Soon, No Impact”

So they said they’d think about it and let me know by end of week. They did.

The verdict: “It’s too soon to promote you. You haven’t made any considerable impact yet.”

I’m sorry, I need a moment.

breathes into paper bag

Too. Soon.

TWO MONTHS is too soon for me to be “promoted” (corrected) to L3. But somehow it’s NOT too soon to hire an external L3 with zero months and zero impact?

Let me check my math here:

• External candidate impact: 0 days, 0 projects, 0 anything = Qualified for L3
• My impact: 2 months, multiple projects, already trained = Not enough impact

The mental gymnastics required to make this logic work could win Olympic gold.

The Emotional Manipulation Finale

After I confirmed I’m resigning following their “too soon/no impact” decision, my phone rings. An executive. Talking emotionally. Not offering L3. Not offering more money. Just… emotions.

“I’m not asking you to change your mind, but if you want, you can.”

This is like someone stealing your wallet and then saying “I’m not asking you to forgive me, but if you want, you can.”

So we went from “you have no considerable impact” to “please don’t leave” in approximately 3.5 seconds after I said I’m actually leaving. Suddenly my inconsiderable impact seems pretty considerable when they realize someone has to do the work.

But notice. Still no L3 offer. Still no salary correction. Just vibes. Just “if you want to.”

The Resignation: Finally

So I resigned. For real this time. Not dramatically. Just “Thank you for the opportunity, my last day will be X.”

Because here’s the thing I realized: I was never going to be valued there. Not in 2 months, not in 2 years. The game was rigged from the start. They want employees who are grateful for ceilings, who assume good intent while being systematically undervalued, who make “considerable impact” while being invisible.

I’m not that employee.

Corporate Translation Guide (Updated Edition)

After this experience, I’ve finally cracked the code:

• “Not anytime soon” = Next month, surprise!
• “Career progression is different here” = There isn’t any
• “Assume good intent” = Don’t complain about anything ever
• “Other employees to consider” = Shut up (but also they don’t matter when you ask)
• “Too soon for promotion” = We see you but choose not to pay you
• “Need considerable impact” = External hires don’t, but you do
• “I’m not asking you to stay” = Please stay but I won’t offer anything

To Everyone Still Playing This Game

If you’re reading this at your desk (probably at the salary ceiling of your band, invisible to promotion committees, watching external hires come in above you), I see you. We see each other, even if management doesn’t.

The only “considerable impact” that matters is apparently the impact of your resignation letter. Everything else is just you being ungrateful for your ceiling.

And to management: Stop with the “assume good intent” posts. We all know it means “be quiet and accept whatever we decide.” At least be honest about it.

Actually, you know what? Don’t change. Keep doing exactly what you’re doing. Because every time you hire externally for more money while your trained employees leave, you’re creating more people like me. People who know their worth. People who won’t accept being furniture.

People who understand that “speedrun any% corporate disillusionment” isn’t a bug, it’s a feature.

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P.S. My LinkedIn now says “Open to opportunities” and I’ve never meant anything more in my life.

P.P.S. Still laughing at “too soon to promote” while they hired externally. The math will never math.

P.P.P.S. To the external L3 they eventually hire: Good luck. You’ll need it. Also, the coffee machine breaks every Thursday.

P.P.P.P.S. This story exists in a quantum state of both true and fictional until observed by someone who matters. Since I’m apparently invisible, it might stay that way forever.